On Mother's and Breakfast Preparations

I just got to work. I left pretty early this morning because I woke up early too. I woke up early because I had to prepare my lunch since our house help has gone on vacation.  I went down to the kitchen and found my Mom cooking.  It was a pleasant sight to see.  I never saw her do that all the time when we were young.  But it's a beautiful transformation that even now as I grow older, I am able to appreciate how my Mom is being such a mother to me.  

After she prepared our food, she started sewing the new pairs of slacks I bought over the weekend.  I wanted to cut some length because they were too long.  I appreciated this a lot because I know that her routine every morning was to go to the mass and the Adoration chapel. I've always found myself being thrown off my center whenever a routine of mine is broken.  But my Mom willingly received the short-term transition.  

As a reaction, I dutifully cleaned a bit of my room and made sure I didn't leave it messy for the day.  I missed a little bit of prayer time but I was glad that the morning drive wasn't so heavy that I got to work early enough to have a bit of silence in the prayer room.

I was also happy that I still ran into Adi when I got to work.  It's always a pleasant exchange in the morning.  Another thing that made my morning pleasant was reading through Marie's blog about Tolkien.  She says she's started to finally read Lord of the Rings.  I've had great respect for the author and even have the complete series myself.  Unfortunately, it's one of those things I haven't done yet.  Perhaps, like her, it takes time to be ready to get into certain things.  

Having experienced that little moment with my Mom this morning, I want to cite an excerpt from Marie's blog here because it honors such motherly acts.

Just before the New Year, I was reading Archbishop Chaput's Render Unto Caesar, and in one of the chapters he relates this story:

It's also why asking Catholics to keep their faith out of public affairs amounts to telling them to be barren; to behave as if they were neutered. Nothing could be more alien to the meaning of baptism. The Christian idea of witness, which comes from the Greek word martyr, isn't limited to a bloody death in the arena for the faith. All Christians have the command to be a martyr in he public arena --to live a life of conscious witness where God places them, no matter how insignificant it seems and whether or not they ever see the results.

Years ago I read a story about an Englishwoman named Mabel. She had two sons. It's not clear what first drew her to the Gospel, but she became a Christian shortly after her husband died in the 1890s. She was devoted to her new faith. Every Sunday she would make the long walk with her sons to an Anglican church. Then one Sunday they tried a different place of worship: a Catholic church in a poor area in Birmingham. Mabel already had an interest in things Catholic. She asked for instruction. She then entered the Catholic Church.

Mabel's Catholic conversion angered her family. Her father was outraged. Her brother-in-law ended the little financial help he had been giving her since she became a widow. Her dead husband's family rejected her. She and her sons slipped into poverty. Mabel's health collapsed. Despite this, she remained zealously committed to her Catholic faith and taught it to both her sons. Several years later, she fell into a diabetes-induced coma and died. She entrusted her boys to the guardianship of a friend, a local Catholic priest, who deepened their faith throughout their upbringing.

Very few people remember Mabel and her story. But a great many people remember at least one of her sons: J.R.R. Tolkien. In a letter to a Jesuit friend many years later, Tolkien wrote: "All my own small perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded" on Mary, the mother of Jesus, and that "The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work." He added, "[My Catholic faith has] nourished me and taught me all the little that I know; and that I owe to my mother, who clung to her conversion and died young, largely through the hardships of poverty resulting from it."

I'd sit here all day and muse about Tolkien's journey but I have quite a bit to catch up for work. Finally having a learning outline to work with, I feel a little bit more focused in gaining some speed for the new job to hopefully bear a little bit of fruit.

Ms. Z and Her Zest for Work

Today I had a very animated talk with Ms. Zeny.  She's the technical consultant of our company and a very dedicated quality control practitioner.  

My appreciation for the printing ink industry continues because of really interesting people like her.  She again explained to me the flow of the process and all the nitty gritty details that one needs to consider when working in this industry.  But what I noted specifically interesting today was how she keeps on repeating her very special ability of being aware of a lot of things all at once.  She says it's easy for her to remember a whole lot of detail which makes her contribution to the company really significant.  The conversation moved on to her highly photographic memory when she told me that she easily memorizes car plates and told me, "Yours ends with 555 right?"

I was surprised because I've never seen her anywhere in the parking lot whenever I come to work and I asked her how she knew.  She said with a cheeky grin, "Well, it's because yours is the newest car in the parking lot and it's there everyday!  So I concluded that it must be yours. Simple as that."    

Now that remark just made me laugh.  It was so innocent but then it made real sense!  She then went on to share with me her routine every morning which was an hour of prayer with several portions.  There was the spontaneous prayer.  The Rosary (all 15 decades).  And daily readings reflection.  

Her good natured disposition captivated me that it really made me realize how simple it can be to do a good job and keep a healthy work environment.  

So here I am trying to keep up with all the things I need to learn about the new job and found a really interesting video that somehow summarizes everything I've learned this week.

More on Learning about Printing Ink

So I learned a little bit more about the Printing Process yesterday and there's this department that I'm slowly learning to get more interested in aside from the Creatives section.  It's called the Product Development Department where Quality Assurance and Research&Development are being done.  How do they do it?  Well, minus all the technicalities of the process, they basically test all the materials that are going to be used in a project.  Simply put, THEY GET TO MIX COLORED INK!  Woooo!  How fun!  I told the AVP-Technical Services that I wanted to see how it's being done once they do something.  HAHA.  

So I was telling him, "So when you do the LSD (an LSD is an abbreviation for Light Standard Dark.  It's a proof sample of what the design looks like when it gets printed in different gradient variations of lightness or darkness. There is a certain calibration that they are going for depending on the client's requirements)  it's like you're mixing paint and water to get the right shade? "  

And he goes, "Yes, if the requirement is water-based and if the substrate (the paper) is what matches the kind of ink being used.  If the substrate is of different material then we don't use water but we use a chemical solvent to mix the ink so it calibrates to the right kind of viscosity (WOW. NEW WORD. So it means Viscosity is a measure of the resistance of a fluid which is being deformed by either shear stress or extensional stress. As per Wikipedia)

Being technical-minded in this manner is so wonderful!  Because to me it doesn't sound too technical at all.  It sounds like ART!  HAHA.  In the IT industry, technical really sounds like technical because it gets all geeky and it just sounds like Greek.  It's something I cannot naturally grasp.  But being in this industry and learning all the basics makes me feel like I'm a natural in understanding how the business runs from the core.  

There are tons of documented procedures from the 3 volumes of Manuals that are still sitting here on my desk.  Im trying to form my own process map in my head so that I don't get lost reading through all the details.  But at the end of it all, I am still very much grateful.

On First Days and Work Spaces

I don't remember the feeling of ever having a first day at work. I suppose the last time I felt that was back in 2000. My most recent job didn't feel so much like I had a "first day at work" because it didn't really start on such a formal and structured footing. There are advantages of not being structured. But I realized that if the lack of structure is prolonged too long, the drive that catapults progress declines at a faster rate than growth.

Today was my first day of work at my new job. I came in pretty early and was made to wait for about an hour in the lobby because the receptionist didn't know that the CEO was already in his office waiting for me. On a normal occasion that would have agitated me but there is something significant about a pleasant morning drive void of traffic and full of green scenery that just keeps you calm instead of the usual road rage I experienced after having worked in the city for more than 6 years. Not to mention the overwhelming peace that pervaded my morning for some reason. :)

God's timing seems to always make things work out in an unexplainable fashion. I thought I would be exhausted from the lack of rest because of the busy Christmas Holiday Season but the last 2 days was made enough for me to catch up and get a second wind to sustain me through my first day of work.

What I really love about this first day of work is having my own table. Not that I've never had my own table before but the last year I've been working in my past job provided me with such a small office corner that has become quite unbearable over time. I realized now that work environment is pretty essential in sustaining my job motivation and one aspect that delighted me today is my very own neat and spacious work space.

To be specific: having my own work space is essential in my job motivation.

I was also quite refreshed by the welcoming atmosphere emanating from smiling employees. Quite a change from all the grumble and the frowns that greeted my morning in the past. The CEO's EA is a cheerful one. Her name is Che and she helped me quite cheerfully throughout my first day. I've never encountered such a cheerful worker 6 months into the company. I spent some time getting to know her and was delighted by her light spirit. I'm sure there will be times that the positivism will wane but it helps to see that there are people who remain enthused especially if those people are the ones leading you.

I was invited to attend a meeting later in the afternoon and one stark difference from all the meetings I've attended the past 2 years was how brief and straight to the point it was. Direct questions expecting direct answers. Questions that provoked some thought and creativity. Something I've missed since business school caseroom discussions 3 years ago. It didn't matter to me, the minor shortcomings that perhaps frustrated the progress being expected, I was enamored by how the environment was so light it allowed me to breathe and most of all THINK.

It felt like I found an oasis in a desert.

I realize then that I am motivated when I am led by highly thought provoking leaders who are progressive in their thinking. It is not so much that they are up to date with everything but it's how they think that inspires me to become creative with them. I realize that I am also motivated when I am led by decisive leaders because it encourages the pursuit of willfullness in all my endeavors.

There is a tiny pantry in the Executive Office just right behind my work space. There is a lady by the name of Lita who makes good Batangas coffee for me. She is not as charming as Manang Isabel just yet but maybe I still have to get to know her better.

The Cavite air remains cool all throughout the day. The plant is not centralized with airconditioning but it doesn't feel hot. I was buried underneath 5 huge ring binders filled with information I had to chew on to catch up but I didn't mind.

It's definitely been a breath of fresh air. One that's been long awaited and hoped for.

Finding this job was a miracle. Living through my first day was another miracle. I can't wait to discover the other miracles hidden in this journey this time around.

I See Grace

I'm getting myself ready for my first day at work tomorrow. New job. New year. Hopeful expectations of a better year.

Seeing grace. Being grace. Living grace. In everything.

Lessons from Work Resignations: Seeing Beyond The Change that Endings Bring and Taking that Leap of Faith to Begin Again

I've resigned twice in my life. The first resignation was to pursue higher learning in business school. In that resignation, there was a party to send me and a couple of people off where I got an award for innovation and leadership. I was unsure about my next move. I was scared about the next step. I didn't have any amunition with me to ensure that I will succeed. My life moved on 2 months after and before I knew it I was sitting in a caseroom filled with 73 people from different nationalities battling over airtime to discuss opinions about a 15 pager Harvard Business Case.

I was clueless. I was lost. I felt like a little girl in a room full of grown-ups. What was I doing here, I asked? A few months passed and I realized that I wasn't the only one asking that question. Two years down the line I passed my thesis. My grades weren't impressive. I was only proud of a couple of subjects that were leaning towards self-mastery, art, creativity, entrepreneurship. All the rest were average. Two weeks before graduation, our class president asked if I can deliver the graduation response speech in behalf of our batch. She said I was the best orator in class. It didn't sink in that my oratory skills were worth a place on stage for graduation. I thought those were just given to students who were graduating at the top of the list. The spot was given to me for some reason and so I delivered my first graduation speech in all my academic life. What I didn't get in honor medals or dean's list awards, I miraculously made up for in that 5 minutes of airtime graduating from one of the Philippines' toughest business schools in 2005.

I didn't know what I was going to next. So I ended up volunteering for church as a fulltime youth minister. The experiences were so overwhelming and I needed time to figure my life out again. Coming out of a business boot camp armed me with a sharp mind and a pretty tough interior. It also gave me a humbled spirit. Working for a church organization seemed easy enough. It should be. After all, I was working with a bunch of kids. What can be so complicated with that? But I was mistaken when I realized that I was dealing with unique individualities and vulnerable hearts that called for much nurturing than I was capable of giving. I was spent. Dried up. And in parallel, started off to pursue the first stage of my career as a change catalyst.

They say, people who institute change are those who are able to withstand the toughest change themselves. I've read about people like these. I've read about their lives and I've seen some of them in person. I've always marveled at their tough inner core. Oftentimes shrinking shyly back because I have nothing to show since I considered myself quite weak.

And I am. Two years stay in the company I got into after my volunteer stint exhausted all creativity out of me. Transitioning from entrepreneurial environment to professional without any back-up, no clear structure, no grounded support from the instigator of change whatever I learned in business school that will help me survive went down the drain. Soon I stopped reading business books or leadership journals and went for The Daily Word, Devotionals and Podcasts. I realized that I am battling with the toughest mindset to break in all change initiatives because that mindset belongs to the one who wants the change himself. I went horizontal and reached out to my peers. I went vertical to reach up to management. I barely made a dent.

I'm not sure if I still made a dent. I have stacks of studies and reports and files saved in my hard drive as a result of the churning of brainpower to satisfy all expectations I could ever anticipate. But that's all they are now. Files.

Today is my last day of work and my arms were full this morning because I carried some gifts I bought for a few co-workers who I have grown attached to during my 2.5 year journey. You'd expect someone who has been hired to change the make-up of a 1.2B company to have more than two arm-full of packages. But no. I can only list with my two hands those I can say I really made a difference with. And half of them were not even from any department that I directly worked with. Half of them were the receptionist, the company driver, the company guard, the company janitor and janitress.

But I was cheerful today because I enjoyed painting my gift wrappers and writing handwritten thank you notes to those I wanted to wish all the best to.

I handed them with a "Para sa inyo po." (This is for you) and a warm smile. I know they didn't expect anything from me. And I also didn't expect anything from them. But the response was overwhelming.

Two of them cried after they read my note. And one of them said they were intending to buy a bag (my gift was a knapsack). There was really nothing to my note, I thought. It was a simple:

Napagaan niyo ang mga araw ko dito sa opisina. Salamat sa pag-tulong niyo sa kin sa mga maliit na bagay: pagbukas ng pinto, pagbati sa umaga, pagtimpla ng kape. (You made my life easier here in the office. Thank you for helping me in small things: opening the door, greeting me in the morning, making me coffee).

I didn't realize how much those words meant to them till I saw how it moved them. I didn't realize how much I was grateful really until I saw their tears. I thought I was just being gracious and cordial like people who resign from offices do. But there was something more.

I realized that no matter how small a contribution or how low your position, there will always be a moment meaningful enough to be remembered. Meaningful enough to be held. Meaningful enough to fuel a heart changed forever.

I am much more certain about where I am going this time around. I am much more certain about what I can do and who I want to be. But it's funny because it wasn't some great big career breakthrough or most expected promotion that brought about this epiphany. No awards were given this time to send me off. In fact, if I paid close detail to what the facts say of this experience it only spells one thing: I failed.

I look out of my office window from my little office corner for the last time. The skies are cloudy but the sun is bright. The skyline has patches of gray and orange. Breathing in, I sense something else.

The facts may describe one thing. But faith determines something else. Interspersed with reality and possibility is that very small window of breathing hope. That small window kept me above water. Kept me believing despite circumstances that because I am a child of the heavens, the hands that made a miracle out of me will not stop till the masterpiece is unveiled. Against all odds, against all scars...I am Redeemed. And there's no greater victory I can ever experience in my life than that.