Somber mood finds me this morning. I had to get out of the hospital room for a bit and walk out to Gloria Jeans. Starbucks was too far away. My chat with Adi this morning left me thinking about so many things. Past. Present. Future. It left me with the very melancholy conclusion that LIFE IS DIFFICULT. What brings comfort is that I do not have to go through it alone.
I went to the hospital early this morning because my mom needed help with my dad. The caregiver we hired to assist us couldn’t come in today because she had to go home to celebrate their barrio's feast. I parked just outside the pay parking area because it was still closed. We parked at the same spot yesterday too. I got drawn to this little girl lying down on a bicycle cart. Her hair was messy and she was covered with ash and dirt. I wonder what kind of life she must have waking up to a morning without a soft bed underneath.
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I ran past some children riding a truck. Their laughter and noise caught my attention while walking back to the hospital. I wondered where they came from and why they rode a truck instead of a bus.
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It’s raining today. And I welcome it gladly because it soothes me again and resonates with my somber mood. I laid my large cup of Gloria Jeans Caramel Latte by the window to listen to my dad share to me some of the best practices they have at work. He eagerly showed me presentations that he found useful and gave me advise on what to implement in my new job.
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One of the things I thought about during the darkest moments of this experience was how my Dad always gave me advise about work. And how I would miss that when that stops. So here I am trying to make the most out of this second chance. Hopefully filling in the gaps that were created through the years of our relationship.
I noticed an eager exchange between my Dad and I. My mom would jump in once in a while and we had a healthy exchange of ideas like grown ups would. I felt at ease. I felt walls crumbling down. I felt my parents’ respect for me.
Second chances are indeed refreshing. I suppose it really is a blessing to have gone through this and overcome it. I am filled with an even deeper gratitude for the Giver of Life after having experienced my a series of little deaths.
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3 comments:
Encountering those kids is an interesting glimpse on life. It reminds me that no matter where we are (like that girl sleeping on the bike cart), we will find stillness, rest and hope, and the kids riding the truck looked like they accepted (and even celebrated) what they were given (a truck ride instead of a more comfortable bus or car ride) in order to make their journey.
Thank God for second chances. One of the sweetest things in life.
I suppose it's true. Those who have "none" actually have more. Than we who have everything.
one of the reasons why i have always loved getting photographs of street children is what they actually stand for. in the most literal sense, they stand for LIFE. living it, and treating it as their most valuable possession (which, in most cases, is their only possession).
it's always amazed me how they are never hiding from my camera, never getting agitated by my presence. instead they are drawn to me. they call me Ate and ask me to take another photo. they laugh at their silly faces on the LCD screen and repeat the little pursuit of happiness.
it's always amazed me how they can dance barefoot on the hot concrete. how they can run about in the sun with barely any clothes on. how they can, as young as they are, look out for each other and take care of the even younger ones, in the most dangerous places like the streets.
in a way, their world is so much bigger than ours, for they are more unabashed in their living and they know of less restrictions. they are more childlike.
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