So some echo of a past life comes up to me this morning and says, "Hello. You weren't so bad. Live your life." I sit here staring at my cramped up space in the office and the stacks of case studies I've read for the past 2 months. Yesterday I finally trimmed down what I wanted to do at work since God tells me to sit still here and wait.
I don't want to fit in. Nor try to. I want to be myself. And who am I is not quite sociable as others may think. But I can embrace those who attempt to embrace me. I realized I'm not quite tolerant as I used to be of people who skitter fancily around. I get annoyed with frilly little voices of girls who are too girly. I get annoyed with loud mouthed boys who lets their ego talk more than their brains. I am vehement towards those who claim to be authentic but are lying through their teeth.
Simply put, these kinds of people rob me off some good peaceful time to also sit peacefully with my struggling authentic self. That's why I'm quite protective off my breathing space.
I've been away from the public world for a while now. It hasn't been easy but the journey of painting my life with lesser color has allowed me to see which color stands out the best.
I realized, I'm all earth tone. Vibrant hues magnify my flaws. Washed out tones water down my strengths. I'm warm and raw and passionate. I'm quiet and absorbing and embracing. I pervade and penetrate. I breathe everything in until I inhale the last scent of meaning there is.
I am still amazed by how things can turn around from the inside out if you're able to just sit with the discomfort for a while. It's nerve wracking. It shakes you to the core. But the surrender becomes sweeter when you're looking forward to something better. Not because you're simply wishing it. But because you know it can happen.
I don't want to fit in. Nor try to. I want to be myself. And who am I is not quite sociable as others may think. But I can embrace those who attempt to embrace me. I realized I'm not quite tolerant as I used to be of people who skitter fancily around. I get annoyed with frilly little voices of girls who are too girly. I get annoyed with loud mouthed boys who lets their ego talk more than their brains. I am vehement towards those who claim to be authentic but are lying through their teeth.
Simply put, these kinds of people rob me off some good peaceful time to also sit peacefully with my struggling authentic self. That's why I'm quite protective off my breathing space.
I've been away from the public world for a while now. It hasn't been easy but the journey of painting my life with lesser color has allowed me to see which color stands out the best.
I realized, I'm all earth tone. Vibrant hues magnify my flaws. Washed out tones water down my strengths. I'm warm and raw and passionate. I'm quiet and absorbing and embracing. I pervade and penetrate. I breathe everything in until I inhale the last scent of meaning there is.
I am still amazed by how things can turn around from the inside out if you're able to just sit with the discomfort for a while. It's nerve wracking. It shakes you to the core. But the surrender becomes sweeter when you're looking forward to something better. Not because you're simply wishing it. But because you know it can happen.
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